I feel strength rising within me today! I feel God setting my spirit free from the oppression of my flesh. This is the message that the Lord has given to me:

God is truly good to Israel,
       to those who have pure hearts. 
 But I had almost stopped believing;
       I had almost lost my faith
 because I was jealous of proud people.
       I saw wicked people doing well. 
 They are not suffering;
       they are healthy and strong. 
 They don’t have troubles like the rest of us;
       they don’t have problems like other people.

So why have I kept my heart pure?
       Why have I kept my hands from doing wrong?
 I have suffered all day long;
       I have been punished every morning. 
God, if I had decided to talk like this,
       I would have let your people down. 
 I tried to understand all this,
       but it was too hard for me to see
 until I went to the Temple of God.
       Then I understood what will happen to them.

Psalm 73: 1-5, 13-17 NCV

Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
      and I was all torn up inside.
I was so foolish and ignorant—
      I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Yet I still belong to you;
      you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
      leading me to a glorious destiny.

Psalm 73: 22-24 NLT

Whom have I in heaven but You?
      And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. 
 My flesh and my heart may fail,
       But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 
 For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
      You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You. 
 But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
      I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
      That I may tell of all Your works.

Psalm 73: 25-26 NASB

It was not very long ago that I felt the way the author describes in the beginning of this Psalm. I kept crying out to God saying, “Why is life so hard for me?! Why is life so unfair?! I keep trying to do what is right, but nothing gets better!!”

I said, “God, I can’t live like this anymore!!” I had reached my breaking point, and I had nearly lost my faith.

 However, as I come before Him in honesty and poured out my heart to Him in desperation, I began to see how I had let the world steal my joy from me. I had been foolish believing that this life was about me and my comfort. I had lost sight of God’s purpose and plan, but I still belonged to Him and He still held me in His hand, protecting and loving me despite my selfishness.

Our hope, our joy, our peace and contentment come from knowing and loving God and relying on His strength. In this world, we may always be oppressed, but they CANNOT oppress our spirit and soul!! As long as we make the choice to rely on God, we can have peace, joy and contentment no matter what our circumstances are!

God, I have realized that there is nothing here on earth for me. Nothing here will make me happy or content. God, I NEED YOU and ONLY YOU. I am happiest when I am telling everyone how good You are! Lord, continue to change my heart and root out my selfishness and pride! I don’t want to let You or Your people down. Strengthen and equip me to do what You have called me to do! You are my portion and I desire nothing else but You!!

 I learned in a marriage and family class that the number one need of women is security. There have been many times that I have tried to find security and comfort for myself by making changes in my life, but I have come to realize that no matter how hard I work at it, I am never secure or comfortable for long. I believe that this is what God wanted to teach the women of Jerusalem and all of us when he spoke this to Isaiah:

  ⁹ You women who are so complacent,
   rise up and listen to me;
you daughters who feel secure,
   hear what I have to say!
¹⁰ In little more than a year
   you who feel secure will tremble;
the grape harvest will fail,
   and the harvest of fruit will not come.
¹¹ Tremble, you complacent women;
   shudder, you daughters who feel secure!
Strip off your fine clothes
   and wrap yourselves in rags.
¹² Beat your breasts for the pleasant fields,
   for the fruitful vines
¹³ and for the land of my people,
   a land overgrown with thorns and briers—
yes, mourn for all houses of merriment
   and for this city of revelry.
¹⁴ The fortress will be abandoned,
   the noisy city deserted;
citadel and watchtower will become a wasteland forever,
   the delight of donkeys, a pasture for flocks,
¹⁵ till the Spirit is poured on us from on high,
   and the desert becomes a fertile field,
   and the fertile field seems like a forest.
¹⁶ The LORD’s justice will dwell in the desert,
   his righteousness live in the fertile field.
¹⁷ The fruit of that righteousness will be peace;
   its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.
¹⁸ My people will live in peaceful dwelling places,
   in secure homes,
   in undisturbed places of rest.
¹⁹ Though hail flattens the forest
   and the city is leveled completely,
²⁰ how blessed you will be,
   sowing your seed by every stream,
   and letting your cattle and donkeys range free.

Isaiah 32:9-20 NIV

What was going to feel absolutely devastating and completely unjust to these women, was meant to secure for them a permanent sense of peace and security in the end, the peace and security that only God can give!!

 Lord, I know that You shake up my life so that I won’t settle for the safety and security this world has to offer. I want You to continue to shake up my world. Give me the strength to endure whatever I must to recieve your lasting peace in the end!!

“In contemporary society our Adversary majors in three things: noise, hurry, and crowds…If we hope to move beyond the superficialities of our culture, including our religious culture, we must be willing to go down into the recreating silences, into the inner world of contemplation.”                                                                                                     Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline

           I think that for most Christians the spiritual discipline of meditation has been the most misunderstood and intimidating. When most people think of meditation, they think of some hippy burning incense and sitting cross-legged chanting, “Om.” In my experience, many Christians view meditation as a pagan or new-age practice, yet the Bible instructs us to meditate in Joshua 1:8, “This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.” and Psalm 4:4,”…Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.” Richard Foster explains the difference between the Christian practice of meditation and that of Eastern religions. He says, “Eastern meditation is an attempt to empty the mind; Christian meditation is an attempt to fill it.”

          To meditate really means to reflect upon something or to think deeply about something. As Christians, what we are to reflect upon is God’s Word: His instructions, His promises, and His blessings. We are also to reflect upon the condition of our hearts. As Richard Foster says in Celebration of Discipline, “What happens in meditation is that we create the emotional and spiritual space which allows Christ to construct an inner sanctuary in the heart…It is a portable sanctuary that is brought into all we are and do.”

          Meditation has always been a very appealing practice to me, because it means slowing down from all the hectic events that are crammed into my days, and simply focusing on releasing all my stress and frustration, listening to what God has to say to me, and letting Him guide me. I have tried to put this discipline into practice in my life many times. I want the peace that comes from being still and listening to the Holy Spirit, but in the past I have been unable to commit to the time necessary to make meditation truly effective. I always get pulled back into the frantic chaos that is my life. This time, with God’s help, I am resolved to make time!!

“We must come to see, therefore, how central our whole day is in preparing us for meditation. If we are constantly being swept off our feet with frantic activity, we will be unable to be attentive at the moment of inward silence. A mind harassed and fragmented by external affairs is hardly prepared for meditation.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline, p. 39

          Before I tell you about some of my experiences practicing the spiritual discipline of meditation, I want to introduce you to the methods of meditating that Foster talks about in Celebration of Discipline and how to prepare for them. First of all we must prepare for meditation by finding a quiet place, free from distractions, and adopting the posture that is most comfortable to us. Then we can practice one of the following forms of meditation as described by Foster:

Meditatio Scripturarum: meditation upon Scripture. According to Foster, this is the form of meditation that keeps all the other forms in proper perspective (40-41). It is best to focus on a single story or event, a single verse, or a single word in a verse. 

“Whereas the study of Scripture centers on exegesis, the meditation of Scripture centers on internalizing and personalizing the passage.”                                                                                                                          Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline, p. 41

“Centering Down” or “Palms Down, Palms Up”: an exercise in meditation that helps you to become quiet and still in your soul.

1. Place your palms down as a symbol of releasing your problems and concerns to God. Let Him know what is troubling you and release it to Him. Allow a stillness to penetrate your soul, and feel the burden lifted.
2. Move your palms to the upward position as a symbol of your inner yearning to receive from God. Let Him know what it is that you wish to receive spiritually from Him. Use specifics concerning situations in your life (ex. peace about a career choice).
3. After releasing and receiving, sit in silence letting the Lord work in your heart, communing with you and imparting to you those things you wish to receive.

Meditation upon Creation: simply admiring the handiwork of God. Spend time really looking at a leaf, a flower, the sunrise and ponder the greatness of the creator. What does the creation tell you about the creator?

 Meditation upon Current Events: to seek to understand the spiritual significence of the events of our day. According to Foster, “This form of meditation is best accomplished with a Bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other.”

My Meditation Experience

            During my times practicing meditation, I have mainly focused on the Meditatio Scripturarum technique, but I have also used the “Centering Down” technique and the Meditation on Creation. The only technique I haven’t really practiced is Meditation upon Current Events. I have found that for regular practice I prefer to meditate on Scripture and practice centering down. Many times, however, I find that I will begin meditating upon creation without doing it intentionally.

Experience # 1: On this day, I meditated upon Psalm 46 and this is the picture that was brought to my mind as I read these verses over and over again.

• As I read verses 1-3, in my mind I saw a fortress up on a mountain top and the earth crumbling all around. I saw water rushing up furiously around the fort, but not able to overtake the walls of the fort. I realized that even now, I feel like there is chaos all around me just like verses 1-3 picture. I often get caught up in the fear of my world falling apart instead of realizing that I am safe within the walls of the fortress, no matter what is going on around me.
• Verse 10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” This verse brought to my mind the picture of a butterfly. I have often tried to take a picture of a butterfly, but they move so fast from flower to flower, that it is hard to get a clear picture of them. Occasionally, however, one will alight upon a bloom and become completely still for a minute allowing me to get a clear picture. I feel as if I am a butterfly constantly on the move, constantly distracted by something going on in my life, but God is calling me to slow down and be still so that He can give me a clear picture of who He is and what he wants me to do.

Experience #2: On this day it was pouring down rain, and I decided to meditate upon creation.

• I thought of how God made the rain to promote growth and to sustain all of creation. I thought of how sometimes in my life I feel God pouring out His rain upon me, and I feel that I am growing spiritually and that God is nurturing my soul.
• I also thought about how difficult it is when we go through droughts. In the physical realm, droughts wreak havoc on everyone. Farmers lose crops that they depend on for their income, prices of produce rise, firemen stay busy putting out wildfires, and everywhere you look there is dead brown instead of luscious green. I feel like I am going through a drought in my life right now. I don’t feel God’s nurturing touch, but I believe God allows us to go through times like this so that our roots can grow deeper towards the water source that is deep below the surface. This is how he takes us from a surface relationship with him to a mature intimate relationship. It is hard, it is painful, but it is necessary!!
• I thought of how I long and hope for the promise He gives in Psalm 23, “He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.”

That was just a couple of examples of things that God has spoken to me in meditation recently. I look forward to the insight and spiritual maturity that I will gain from my renewed dedication to delving into the spiritual disciplines.